Q: Some days I am ok and other days I can’t leave my bed. I am tired of this but I won’t be happy without him. Why is it so hard sometimes. I think my mood swings and depression are pushing him away. But I am not like this all the time, only with him, and its only because of the distance. We see each other monthly which is good but I don’t know how I am supposed to get through this. No one understands me because they have never been through it so I don’t have any support. How do I make this easier?

A: I am not a doctor but if you are having days when you are so sad that you can’t even get out of bed then you might need to see one. I’m not trying to insult you, but you’ve labeled your behavior as depression and if that’s true then nothing short of going to see a professional is going to change that. My advice is to go see a doctor. However I’ll give you some other tips as well.

Since you see each other monthly you have something to look forward to. Instead of being sad about leaving, be excited about the next time you’ll see him. Also start planning how this is all going to work out. Are you going to date from a distance for the rest of your lives? If not, who is going to move and when? You need to have some sort of end (or new beginning) in mind or you will drive yourself crazy.

Also, do you have a life outside of your relationship? If not, I suggest you work on finding some hobbies, something that excites you that has nothing to do with your boyfriend.

Lastly I’m going to recommend (again) that you talk to a professional. Being sad is one thing and that can be managed, but being depressed is a whole other ballgame.

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