Long distance relationship or not, it can sometimes be hard for parents to let go and let their (adult) children find their own path.

If you are having a hard time with your kid being involved with someone from a distance, here are a few tips.

Don’t become the enemy. Even if this long distance relationship is the most appalling thing you’ve heard of in a long time it’s important that you attempt to seem neutral. Instead of criticizing your child “why can’t you just find someone here like everyone else”, you should ask questions in a friendly tone, “oh, what made you decide to pursue this.” If you allow yourself to become the enemy then you’ll only push your child away from you and right into the arms of this other person.

Be cautious but not rude. It’s ok to ask questions about the person your child is dating but don’t be rude. Condensing or demeaning remarks won’t help at all. Being cautious is normal, being rude is a no-no.

Sometimes you have to let go. If your child is 15 and madly in love with someone from Antarctica then you have every right to tell them they are not going anywhere. However if your child is 25, done with school, has a good job and a good head on his or her shoulders then you just have to let them choose what path they see fit. If they want to move far away, let them. Maybe they’ll be back, maybe they won’t. It’s tempting to want to prevent your child from making mistakes, but when you are dealing with an adult, you have to let them decide for themselves.

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