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Advice for a First Time Long Distance Relationship
Despite the many ideas already presented here, there seems to be a big request for tips for first time LDR’s. I’ve decided to give a few tips in one place for reference. Long-time Long Distance Diva readers, if I’ve already covered some of these please don’t be offended, just look at it as a reminder.
1) Make sure you both are on the same page. How often are you expecting to talk to your partner? How often are they expecting to hear from you? This needs to be discussed. Who is going to visit and how often? Who is going to pay for visits? How long do you expect this relationship to last in its current form?
Read: Setting up the Rules
2) Having an end point in mind is key Nobody wants to be in a long distance relationship for the rest of their lives. In fact, if you just go with the flow and don’t discuss your ultimate goals then it will make the time seem exceedingly painful.
Instead you should discuss what your goals are. Are you just dating for the fun of it? Do you hope to eventually get married? Is there a right time for one of you to move? How soon can someone relocate? It doesn’t matter if you make plans to be together in 6 months, or 6 years- having an end in mind will help tremendously.
Read: Who is Going To Move?
3) Take a strong dose of confidence juice Relationships aren’t easy, especially long distance ones. You’ll have people telling you day and night to just find someone local. Family and friends will question your decisions. People will tell you that you are dumb and the person is probably cheating on you. You have to be able to look past that and have confidence in the choices you make.
Read: Logical Response to LDRS Never Work
4) Get a life, or keep the one you have Yes you’ll get sad you may even cry but you can’t spend all day and night lamenting on how you want to be close to your loved one. Stay active, stay involved, hang out with friends, take classes, start a business…do what you have to do to make sure you have a life outside of this relationship.
Read: I’m Depressed About My Relationship
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Having an end point, Grrreeaat idea, BUT how do i get answers to when we are getting married or when we should relocate. I already know that we will eventually. We talk about when we are married or when we have our house or when we have kids. I also know that I will be the one to move to where he is. I just dont know when, I would feel so much better if I did, but at the same time I dont want to be perceived of rushing him. Help