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When Is It Time To Discuss The Future?
People often get apprehensive about asking key questions in relationships. This is especially true in long distance ones. You want to know when the next steps will be taken but you don’t want to come out and ask it. You want to know how long will the distance last but you have some fears about stating that.
Will he or she think I am being pushy?
Do I seem desperate?
Well they haven’t mentioned it yet so why should I?
I’m going to cut to the chase right now and tell you that you need to stop it!
If you are in a relationship with someone and you don’t feel comfortable enough to ask legitimate questions then you are in the wrong relationship.
If you take a shot and ask, and the person has no interest in answering then you are in the wrong relationship.
People really need to learn how to cut the bull and get real. I get a little touchy about topics like this because there is this culture that believes that relationships are all about playing guessing games.
There is this hidden code that says you shouldn’t ask questions or have expectations because that makes you seem pushy or desperate.
Thoughts like those are why so many people end up getting hurt; and I believe it’s bull.
Two weeks into a relationship- enjoy it. Don’t get to anxious about the future but keep your eyes open.
Six months down the line it’s time to drop some of the insecurities by having some basic answers. Don’t start picking out china patterns; but don’t be afraid to really get to know the person and their motives- what do they want? This is not a life or death questioning session but if you are dating someone who just wants to date and you are marriage-minded then by now you should know.
One year down the line there should be no reservations about asking anything. By now it’s time to ask, “what’s the plan here?”. Asking about a plan isn’t immediately making plans to pack up and leave; it’s just common sense information you need so that you can decide how to proceed with life.
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