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Dealing With a Break Up in Your Long Distance Relationship
Breakups can be lonely, emotional, and confusing times.
You may be tempted to go back and read all of your emails to each other, look at past IM conversations, and sit for hours looking at photos- don’t do it. Though it may seem like a good way to cope, it actually doesn’t do anything but set you back.
Instead when you get the urge to “remember old times” try to redirect and do something else. Call a friend, go for a walk, remember the bad times and arguments- anything to get your mind out of the “I would be better if we were together” stage.
If the breakup wasn’t mutual you’ll want to call the person- over and over and over and over. You want to know why, you want to yell at them, you just want to hear their voice. Bad idea. It only makes you look desperate, and months down the line you’ll feel stupid for doing it. They might even feel guilty and decide to revive the relationship, but that will be a mistake because they don’t mean it, and sooner or later you’ll be back in the same spot. So don’t call the person and cry, yell, and cry; vent to someone else.
A good thing to do is to write a letter expressing everything you truly feel. It can be the most angry, nasty, and hateful letter in the world- just make it anonymous. Example: Dear Pathetic Cheating Loser, Signed A Bitter Ex. Be sure to include every little thing that annoyed you about the person.
After you’ve read the letter you’ll (hopefully) laugh and maybe you’ll even be inclined to share it with your friends. Just make sure that the person doesn’t read it. You don’t need to boost their ego or add another reason for back and fourth contact. I’m only giving this tip because it worked for me many years ago.
The most important tip is to know that it will be ok. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be angry; just know that you won’t always feel that way. Reach out to your friends and spend time with them. After you’ve had a little time to grieve make yourself go out and have fun- fun where the focus isn’t on picking up someone.
One day you’ll wake up and everything will be ok. Like *poof* it won’t even matter and you will have moved on.
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help!
I think this is an excellent article not just for people breaking up from long-distance relationships but from all relationships. Well done.