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Is Our Relationship Over?
Q: I have a custody schedule with my children which where I can be with my SO only 2 nights a week and every other weekend. Prior to this SO and I spent 4-5 nights a week with each other (for about 15 months), now we are only seeing each other as a couple 2 times every other week (we see each other casually with kids on the alternating weekends)!
I think I would be more ok with this if my SO was a bit more eager to be affectionate those rare times we are with each other now. The reduced couple time along with no increase in affectionate time has made me get very resentful, so now our time is spent half talking and then half bickering.
We will be having to do this ldr until April 2009 at the most. How can we keep this going until then? Or, is this a sign that we are having problems unrelated to the ldr? Please help as I do truly adore him, and consider him my best friend in the world… I am just so frustrated by our not having enough couple time like we used to have.
Q: Instead of looking at it as decreased time with your SO how about you look at it as increased time with your children, or increased time to focus on your hobbies?
Either way, it sounds like there are issues that need to be discussed. Either:
1) He’s not interested in the relationship
2) He is stressed about something
3) He’s found someone else
4)Things are the same as they were before but you are just extra annoyed by the distance situation.
First, check yourself, but then you need to have an open and honest talk to find out what it is. If he hasn’t been upfront thus far don’t expect him to come gushing to you what’s on the depths of his heart.
Just tell him how you feel (without placing blame) and ask “is there something going on in your life that I need to know about?”
If he says no, then you need to consider that your needs aren’t being met and it’s time to re-evaluate the situation- period.
You can encourage him to be a part of that decision or not.
Best of luck.
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