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I’m Distraught Over Long Distance Breakup
Q: In the past 2 years, I’ve divorced after 20 years, started a new job, moved the kids from schools, and found a new man for the last 16 months. He lives 2 hour away and we fell in love and lust….[Recently] He broke everything off and said he cared, but was completely worn out. VIA EMAIL.
I am having a very hard time even eating and sleeping and wasn’t like this during my divorce. I feel like I’m in 7th grade and very
sickened by the way I have let my emotions take control. He did all of this over the phone and email, but I’m such a personality that needs to have a tangible goodbye and give a hug and a suitcase FULL of jewelry, clothes, movies, phones, cds, dvds, memories of birthdays, holidays.
He told me today that he, under no uncertain terms, he would NOT meet me. I got to the begging stage and he still said no. Please give me any words you are able and I will be forever grateful.
A: You need closure. That’s all there is to it. What he did was terrible and that makes him a coward. Do not go begging to him, you should know better. Any man you have to beg to be with you is not a man you want.
Here is what you do.
Write him a letter. Write the meanest, nastiest letter you can think of. Tell him exactly how you feel and why you feel that way. Once you’ve written it read it aloud.
Next take that letter and rip it. Rip it good and flush it down the toilet. That represents your closure. That represents letting all the crap go where it needs to go.
I’m not joking, it works. I know this from personal experience.
Next, get rid of all the stuff that reminds you of him. There’s no need to keep it. It will only make your recovery worse. Throw it out, have your kids throw it out, just get rid of it.
I know you said you don’t have any friends or family near but now is the time when you really need a support system. You need some sort of support to keep you encouraged.
It will take time to get over this but you will. You’ll come out better, stronger, and wiser.
Best of luck!
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