Comments on: Expert Says, Avoid Long Distance Relationships http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/ Making it Last From Afar Sat, 31 Jul 2010 20:32:30 +0000 hourly 1 By: Maria http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-11111 Maria Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:45:06 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-11111 Yes, because he's read lots of papers and books about something but never actually DONE it. Try stepping off a plane into your loves' arms and knowing from that first embrace you'll spend the rest of your lives together, then you might know something about it :-P Yes, because he’s read lots of papers and books about something but never actually DONE it.

Try stepping off a plane into your loves’ arms and knowing from that first embrace you’ll spend the rest of your lives together, then you might know something about it :-P

]]> By: LovesLeadingCompanion http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-9813 LovesLeadingCompanion Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:18:14 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-9813 This article was very disheartening to read. Every relationship requires a choice and a commitment to love. This foundation is essential. Long distance relationships that do work are those who 'choose well' just as those who are may also choose this path of commitment as next door neighbors. The difference is that 'LDRs' will go through the fire of testing points much more frequently, which can be so refining as a jewel! On behalf of those who are in Long Distance Relationships and giving it all you've got - I am honored to speak up for all of us. This article was very disrespectful of such persons who have sacrificed so much for love. Sending out genuine warmth and love to encourage any who may have been discouraged from this post! ,Jen This article was very disheartening to read. Every relationship requires a choice and a commitment to love. This foundation is essential. Long distance relationships that do work are those who ‘choose well’ just as those who are may also choose this path of commitment as next door neighbors. The difference is that ‘LDRs’ will go through the fire of testing points much more frequently, which can be so refining as a jewel! On behalf of those who are in Long Distance Relationships and giving it all you’ve got - I am honored to speak up for all of us. This article was very disrespectful of such persons who have sacrificed so much for love. Sending out genuine warmth and love to encourage any who may have been discouraged from this post! ,Jen

]]> By: Lin http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-9385 Lin Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:39:50 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-9385 In my opinion, i feel that even if couples arent in LDR, it doesnt mean that they will last forever. It is up to every individual to decide if LDR is worth it. Some may feel intimidated, some may be motivated to pull through tgt. For those who tried, whether or not it works out in the end, there'll always be something for the couple to learn. An exp of a lifetime, something that makes us realize and know better of what we actually want in a r/s. I think that it is not such a waste of time in exchange for the valuable lessons and exp that can make ur life better and turn u into a better person, vise versa. Yes we are risk takers, and it doesnt matter if things work out or not. We're not psychics, we cant tell if we might end up with who or who. We can only do our best with our SO, one step at a time, learning smth up every level. Life's about trying, not abt chickening out. If we love our SO, LDR is not an obstacle but a chance to show how much we love them. For all i care, I disagree with Dr. I believe that our hard work will bring abt harvest someday. In my opinion, i feel that even if couples arent in LDR, it doesnt mean that they will last forever. It is up to every individual to decide if LDR is worth it. Some may feel intimidated, some may be motivated to pull through tgt. For those who tried, whether or not it works out in the end, there’ll always be something for the couple to learn. An exp of a lifetime, something that makes us realize and know better of what we actually want in a r/s. I think that it is not such a waste of time in exchange for the valuable lessons and exp that can make ur life better and turn u into a better person, vise versa. Yes we are risk takers, and it doesnt matter if things work out or not. We’re not psychics, we cant tell if we might end up with who or who. We can only do our best with our SO, one step at a time, learning smth up every level. Life’s about trying, not abt chickening out. If we love our SO, LDR is not an obstacle but a chance to show how much we love them. For all i care, I disagree with Dr. I believe that our hard work will bring abt harvest someday.

]]> By: May http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8929 May Tue, 03 Mar 2009 11:51:32 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8929 "Loving someone is a risky job" And we've probably met people who's too coward to have a relationship, so they're just stop dating in their 3rd dates (after the sex). So, if this Dr. calles an LDR couple is coward, what would he call a serial dater? A brave knight?? WHOA! I think being in a realtionship is scary enough! I mean, hey! Give your heart to somebody is very risky! And now we're on a Long Distance one? We should be proud, gals! We're a risk taker! Never fall down for what people judge it... be motivated! I love my boyfriend too much for not stoping loving him just becoz we're on different page of atlas. :) “Loving someone is a risky job” And we’ve probably met people who’s too coward to have a relationship, so they’re just stop dating in their 3rd dates (after the sex).

So, if this Dr. calles an LDR couple is coward, what would he call a serial dater? A brave knight??

WHOA! I think being in a realtionship is scary enough! I mean, hey! Give your heart to somebody is very risky!
And now we’re on a Long Distance one?
We should be proud, gals! We’re a risk taker!

Never fall down for what people judge it… be motivated!

I love my boyfriend too much for not stoping loving him just becoz we’re on different page of atlas. :)

]]> By: Megan http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8827 Megan Sat, 14 Feb 2009 23:59:29 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8827 Dr Neder I think your statistics are somewhat misleading... How many "normal" relationships work out? I'm talking about regular dating, not long distance, not marriage. How many of those couples last for the rest of their lives? The fact of the matter is that everyone will at most have one relationship that "works out". I'm not sure what the average number of relationships in a lifetime is, but I know it's got to be more than one. It also depends on how you feel about what defines a sucessful realtionship. Even if my SO and I broke up tomorrow, I wouldn't regret our relationship just because we didn't get married and spend our lives together. Not everyone is looking for long term committment, and so an LDR that doesn't "work out" might not be the end of the world. If something makes your life better, even for a short while, that was still worthwhile. Dr Neder I think your statistics are somewhat misleading… How many “normal” relationships work out? I’m talking about regular dating, not long distance, not marriage. How many of those couples last for the rest of their lives? The fact of the matter is that everyone will at most have one relationship that “works out”. I’m not sure what the average number of relationships in a lifetime is, but I know it’s got to be more than one.

It also depends on how you feel about what defines a sucessful realtionship. Even if my SO and I broke up tomorrow, I wouldn’t regret our relationship just because we didn’t get married and spend our lives together. Not everyone is looking for long term committment, and so an LDR that doesn’t “work out” might not be the end of the world. If something makes your life better, even for a short while, that was still worthwhile.

]]> By: Penelope http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8805 Penelope Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:45:25 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8805 Wow. Well...sounds to me like the good Dr. Neder has been burned in his own long distance relationships...and I'm very sorry to hear that. The idea that those of us in LDRs are lazy or scared is complete bullsh*t...and the fact that Dr. Neder is saying that only further backs up my point that he is obviously biased in his so-called "expert" opinion. It's easy to say that there are lots of great people in your own city or town, but we all know that love doesn't work that way, now does it? To say that people should "avoid LDRs at all costs" is like telling people to "avoid blondes at all costs" or some such similiar nonsense. Are LDRs hard? Sure. Are they for everyone? No way. But they CAN be fulfilling...if you're realistic about what you're looking for and aware of the limitations. Can't we just be grown up about this? Wow.

Well…sounds to me like the good Dr. Neder has been burned in his own long distance relationships…and I’m very sorry to hear that.

The idea that those of us in LDRs are lazy or scared is complete bullsh*t…and the fact that Dr. Neder is saying that only further backs up my point that he is obviously biased in his so-called “expert” opinion. It’s easy to say that there are lots of great people in your own city or town, but we all know that love doesn’t work that way, now does it?

To say that people should “avoid LDRs at all costs” is like telling people to “avoid blondes at all costs” or some such similiar nonsense. Are LDRs hard? Sure. Are they for everyone? No way. But they CAN be fulfilling…if you’re realistic about what you’re looking for and aware of the limitations.

Can’t we just be grown up about this?

]]> By: Heath http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8800 Heath Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:54:31 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8800 Even though everybody says that love is all about the feelings and not about physicality, sex is a very important part of any relationship and this one important thing lacks in a long-distance relationship, which is hard to tolerate. Even though everybody says that love is all about the feelings and not about physicality, sex is a very important part of any relationship and this one important thing lacks in a long-distance relationship, which is hard to tolerate.

]]> By: Matt http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8791 Matt Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:54:55 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8791 Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, its just some of them can be stupid. Yes, LDR's Can be hard, but it's what you make out of it. Dr. Neder obviously hasn't been in a LDR. Try being in one before you downgrade something. Some LDR's are good because you can't have your partner physcially there, but you can your partner on a emotional level. That's what you wanna do right? Be emotional with your partner. You have to have so much TRUST in the relationship. If both of you has TRUST, then your relationship will be just fine. That's why alot of these LDR's don't work out because they don't have that trust in the relationship. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, its just some of them can be stupid.

Yes, LDR’s Can be hard, but it’s what you make out of it. Dr. Neder obviously hasn’t been in a LDR. Try being in one before you downgrade something. Some LDR’s are good because you can’t have your partner physcially there, but you can your partner on a emotional level. That’s what you wanna do right? Be emotional with your partner.

You have to have so much TRUST in the relationship. If both of you has TRUST, then your relationship will be just fine. That’s why alot of these LDR’s don’t work out because they don’t have that trust in the relationship.

]]> By: Dr. Dennis W. Neder http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8765 Dr. Dennis W. Neder Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:06:29 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8765 Hello Megan! Thanks for your comments. Yes, SOME LDR's do work out, but in fact, the percentage is extremely low. Consider that 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, and that's still far greater than the number of LDR's that do the same. I'm always concerned when this sort of comment comes up simply because it gives hope to someone that is too terrified to leave their LDR when in fact, they'd have not only much greater success with someone local, they'd also have a much more healthy relationship. Best regards… Dr. Dennis W. Neder President ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. Remington Publications BAM! TV 818.334.8826 http://beingaman.com http://beingaman.tv Publishers of “Being a Man in a Woman’s World I & II” Producers of “BAM! TV” Hello Megan!

Thanks for your comments. Yes, SOME LDR’s do work out, but in fact, the percentage is extremely low. Consider that 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, and that’s still far greater than the number of LDR’s that do the same.

I’m always concerned when this sort of comment comes up simply because it gives hope to someone that is too terrified to leave their LDR when in fact, they’d have not only much greater success with someone local, they’d also have a much more healthy relationship.

Best regards…

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of “Being a Man in a Woman’s World I & II”
Producers of “BAM! TV”

]]> By: Megan http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/comment-page-1/#comment-8732 Megan Sat, 07 Feb 2009 05:26:43 +0000 http://www.longdistancediva.com/2009/02/04/expert-says-avoid-long-distance-relationships/#comment-8732 Dr. Neder, I think you have some good points. But it is also true that some LDRs do work out. My relationship isn't long distance right now, but was for several years until recently and probably will be again in the future. I don't think anyone who is in a LDR is in it for the long distance part. I wouldn't have stayed committed if there wasn't a plan for us to be together again. It's a cost-benefit analysis, to be pragmatic. Is the pain of long distance worth having the relationship when the distance is gone? If the answer is no, then get out and find someone closer. If it's a yes... Then buckle down and wait it out. Dr. Neder, I think you have some good points. But it is also true that some LDRs do work out. My relationship isn’t long distance right now, but was for several years until recently and probably will be again in the future.

I don’t think anyone who is in a LDR is in it for the long distance part. I wouldn’t have stayed committed if there wasn’t a plan for us to be together again. It’s a cost-benefit analysis, to be pragmatic. Is the pain of long distance worth having the relationship when the distance is gone? If the answer is no, then get out and find someone closer. If it’s a yes… Then buckle down and wait it out.

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