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Q: How do you celebrate birthdays when you are in a long distance relationship?
A:I’m trying to remember how we celebrated my birthday last year and I’m drawing a blank. We were still in a long distance relationship on my last birthday, but I honestly don’t remember how we celebrated…or if we even did.
For his birthday he came and visited so that was nice. Since our birthdays aren’t that far apart maybe we celebrated together but I don’t recall.
Sorry.
However I do know that if you can’t visit, you can try just about any other idea I’ve given and turn it into a birthday treat.
Try stealing one of these and it will be a great birthday even if you are a bit down about the distance.
Here are some ways to celebrate your first year in a long distance relationship.
Anyone else have any romantic ideas?
I’ve found that it’s necessary for me to write a part two to Your Long Distance Relationship Might Be Over If so here goes.
1) The person breaks up with you. I know that this will make some people laugh, and others scratch their heads, but sometimes it’s hard to accept that someone has broken up with you. You want to deny it, or make excuses, or beg them to reconsider.
Sooner or later you’ll realize that when people break up with you, it’s for a reason, and it’s usually for the best. If someone doesn’t want to be with you then cry, be sad, eat ice cream; but know that begging won’t make someone love you, and one day the pain you feel won’t be there.
2) Something is just not right. Do you ever get the feeling that something is just a little off? It doesn’t feel right, something’s not too clean, but you just can’t put your finger on it. Don’t ignore this because chances are you feel that way because it’s true- something is wrong in your relationship. This isn’t necessarily a sign of breaking up, but just don’t ignore it. Instead you need to find out what it is and that doesn’t mean start asking a million questions.
3)You are never on the same page…about anything. You want kids, they hate kids. You want to get married, they just want to screw around. You believe in putting fourth effort, they think they are too busy to send a 10 second text message. Compatibility is key to any relationship. Don’t excuse glaring incompatibilities just because you are in a long distance relationship.
[Instead of the normal Q & A piece, you’ll find my responses in bold.]
I have a long distance relationship situation, and sister it’s not good! I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We started out as friends in college. He never wanted a serious relationship, we used to just hook up. I graduated and moved away and began to date another guy. A year later he came back into my life and I left my boyfriend for him.
First warning sign. My grandma used to always tell me that the way you get someone is the same way you are going to lose them. If someone knows you are committed and they still pursue you it says a lot about how they value commitments; it also says a lot about how you value them as well.
Continue reading ‘He is Wishy Washy, What Should I Do?’
People often get apprehensive about asking key questions in relationships. This is especially true in long distance ones. You want to know when the next steps will be taken but you don’t want to come out and ask it. You want to know how long will the distance last but you have some fears about stating that.
Will he or she think I am being pushy?
Do I seem desperate?
Well they haven’t mentioned it yet so why should I?
I’m going to cut to the chase right now and tell you that you need to stop it!
If you are in a relationship with someone and you don’t feel comfortable enough to ask legitimate questions then you are in the wrong relationship.
If you take a shot and ask, and the person has no interest in answering then you are in the wrong relationship.
People really need to learn how to cut the bull and get real. I get a little touchy about topics like this because there is this culture that believes that relationships are all about playing guessing games.
There is this hidden code that says you shouldn’t ask questions or have expectations because that makes you seem pushy or desperate.
Thoughts like those are why so many people end up getting hurt; and I believe it’s bull.
Two weeks into a relationship- enjoy it. Don’t get to anxious about the future but keep your eyes open.
Six months down the line it’s time to drop some of the insecurities by having some basic answers. Don’t start picking out china patterns; but don’t be afraid to really get to know the person and their motives- what do they want? This is not a life or death questioning session but if you are dating someone who just wants to date and you are marriage-minded then by now you should know.
One year down the line there should be no reservations about asking anything. By now it’s time to ask, “what’s the plan here?”. Asking about a plan isn’t immediately making plans to pack up and leave; it’s just common sense information you need so that you can decide how to proceed with life.
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